Do Your Children Stress You Out?
Let me share 3 rules that I used as a parent, hypnotherapist, NLP trainer and energy worker. Children need to perceive you the parent are someone who will listen to them so that they can feel relaxed.
Children give you hints in many ways. Some two year olds throw temper tantrums because they perceive that no one is listening. I guess as parents some of us are to busy and stressed out to listen.
A friend told me about a young lady who had a young child. When the young lady came home she would rush to the bathroom, but she would forget to change her son’s diaper. Consequently, the young child was only expressing it’s feelings of discomfort by kicking up a fuss through actions of screaming and shouting in order to get attention.
As the young child gets older they may ask questions, and as parents you may hear but not answer. Children need to be acknowledged so that they have the feeling that they have been listen to. Otherwise, they will continue to seek an avenue that matches the desire to have their attention satisfied.
A similar analogy would be a period at the end of a sentence; If you have a very long paragraph with no periods, then you have a long run-on sentence. Imagine how stressful and difficult that would be to read.
When my children were younger I had 3 rules.
Rule 1 – If I did not answer their questions, they had permission to remind me that I gave them permission to ask me questions.
Some questions ask of parents are difficult to answer because we were never really trained to be parents.
Rule 2 – Whenever I was asked a question by my children to which I did not have an answer. I would tell my children that I will think about it and get back to them by a specific date. This technique gave me some breathing room and helped me to be in a less stressful state of mind.
Rule 3 – One of my children told me to tell her “maybe” if I did not have any answer. She explained that “maybe ” to her was hope that she would get what she wanted.
Children need to feel as though you, the parent is listening to them. It helps them “empty” their thoughts and feeling rather than letting them bottled up and exploding like fire crackers.
If children feel that they are not listened to, then their behavior can become focused towards getting the necessary attention at any cost.
You may hear what your children have said but you may be too busy doing other things for example, watching television. Because their perception is that you are not listening. although you can repeat everything that they have said.
When talking with your children you need to find the time to always look them in the eye so that they do not feel as though you are always too busy to find time for them.
In conclusion, you a need feedback system that allows your children to give you feedback especially when you get caught in the stress of living. This feedback, if based on your permission, allows your children to interact with you without fear of punishment.
This results in you becoming a parent who is a better listening, less stressed parent who now enjoys the trust of your children.
Author: Cecil McIntosh