Emotional domestic abuse. Stop being a victim!
Unfortunately, the emotional domestic abuse has become increasingly frequent and common phenomenon today. Unemployment, unsatisfied ambitions, lack of self confidence, obstacles to the implementation of ones plans and other causes, which lead to dissatisfaction with life and violence against the weaker member of the family – a woman.
Often emotional domestic abuse becomes even more dangerous then beating, as a woman becomes regularly and persistently subjected to insults for no reason. In result, she gets stuck in a victim mentality, which reflects badly on the future relationship or leads to neurosis.
What are the signs of emotional domestic abuse?
- Constant and severe criticism.
- Abuser doesn’t allow his wife to communicate with friends and relatives, forbids her to go back to work after the maternity leave or prohibits from working at all.
- Ridicules or doesn’t endorse her point of view. Humiliates her in public or in the company of friends.
- Total control, jealousy and hysterics, unfounded accusations, having checked her phone or laptop, searching of personal belongings to reveal cheating.
- Lives at his wife’s expense, or keeps the household budget in his hands, and his wife – in a cage.
- Comes to her work, threatening to make a scene, which, however, never happens.
- Threatens that he will leave her, get her out, or take away the children.
How does the emotional domestic abuse start?
The relationship with an abuser begins with a real love story. Romance, flowers and expensive gifts make a woman lose her head and forget about everything. And then begins the psychological pressure, which includes the suggestions of woman’s insignificance and guilt. The future victim wonders, how this could happen, and really blames herself. This behavior gradually develops into a habit, and a woman loses the meaning of life, self-esteem and the very self, feeling frustrated and helpless.
The abuser is constantly irritated and finds fault with his wife’s appearance and housekeeping, blames her for everything. He immediately finds faults with her relatives and friends. Male friendship is out of the question. She will gradually cease to communicate with them and feel guilty for this meanness toward the close people. With no psychological support elsewhere, she seeks it only from that man, eating out of his hand.
However, the emotional “rapist” won’t torment his victim forever, he needs her “alive”. Sometimes, the moments of love and affection come, and she forgets about past humiliations and rushes into his arms. This keeps her close to him.
The results of emotional domestic abuse are major depression, panic attacks, anxiety, uncontrollable emotions, nervous breakdowns; lack of understanding of the self, one’s own desires and what is happening around; feeling of uncertainty, inability to enjoy life.
How to resist the emotional domestic abuse?
If you can’t deal with your emotional state, seek help from a professional psychologist or use the psychological forums on the web. Other people may consider your situation from the outside, sort out the facts and provide you with support.
Stop forgiving someone, who constantly humiliates you, think of yourself and your children. Find a pretext to go out, even for a while, and then disappear from his life forever. Don’t be afraid that your husband will take away the children, the mother’s rights are protected by law. And what’s the main, love yourself just as you are.