Healing from emotional abuse is possible!
The base, or a cause of emotional abuse, is laid in childhood, when a child needs to hide the pain and to suffer alone, as a demonstration of pain leads to more suffering. If a child is told that his reactions are wrong (“C’mon, it’s not so bad,” “I did not start it!”, “What’s wrong with you – don’t you understand jokes?”), it leaves deep wounds in the soul. Children’s protection is associated with attempts to ease the pain and avoid it in the future.
As adults we continue to apply the same principle. Have you ever scolded yourself like: “You’re such a moron! What is wrong with you?” Blame and disrespect is ingrained in us so deeply that we rarely try to understand their destructive influence on ourselves and on others. Defense are the scars that hide deep wounds of emotional abuse and violence. Healing from emotional abuse, healing these wounds, is an important part of gaining openness and self-knowledge. But healing will only happen when you stop being a victim.
There are two types of emotional pain:
- The pain of the victim (“poor me unhappy, I am suffering badly because of you”), which imposes a responsibility on other people, prevents self-knowledge and leads to a deadlock;
- Pain, devoid of charges caused by the situation, when you take responsibility for its creation and come to a better understanding of yourself.
For example, people who are feeling the pain of the victim, blame their misfortunes of the parents (or others). They do not know that the parents did the best they could, that their actions were based on erroneous beliefs, so there is nobody to blame here.
Everything goes from a childhood
This whole situation is very sad, because most of us in childhood did not have enough love for ourselves and for others. We are traumatized, and we need to recover and find ways of healing from emotional abuse, because this recovery will lead us to a better sense of self. We can curse our parents (or others), or we can be grateful for the opportunity to help ourselves. If you’re lucky, next to you will be people who will support you in the healing process.
Healing from emotional abuse
The most powerful healing from emotional abuse happens when you empathize with people who are injured, and express your defensive reactions, sadness because you are hurt, and forgive yourself and others. Resentment, anger and accusations will not help you to heal. Forgiveness frees you from accusations of yourself and boosts your self-esteem. Thanks to it, you will feel much more secure and become more loving and open.