Mental abuse in marriage. What to do?
Mental abuse in marriage most often is referring to the women. This is the most common form of violence, which occurs in the family. However, sometimes the opposite happens, when a woman takes the role of the offender. This situation destroys the whole family. The victim of mental abuse is constantly depressed, feeling anxiety and even thinking of suicide. People, who are facing violent behavior usually are indifferent and have a low self-esteem. It should be noted that any violence affects one’s psychological development and a self-concept.
Forms of mental abuse in marriage.
Abusive marriage implies not only physical superiority of one spouse over the other in a form of slavery, sexual violence and regular battering. Often the violence involves moral harassment, offensive and vulgar language, intimidation, threatening, beatings, destruction of household items, necessity to watch shocking scenes, leaving no hope for escape.
Mental abuse is a form of psychological impact on the process of thinking, behavior or physical condition of a person without one’s consent with the help of interpersonal communication. Typical means of mental abuse are: threatening, insults and psychological harassment.
The signs of abusive behavior, regarded as a mental abuse in marriage, often include:
- Contempt, humiliation, public scorns, disregard of the work, efforts and opinion of the partner;
- Control and interrupted phone calls, making it impossible or difficult to contact with the close people and family. Intrusion of one’s opinion on where to go and what people to meet;
- Putting pressure on the spouse in everyday life and in result of fictional rumors and unfounded accusations, yelling and even ridicule, taking away children, money or car;
- Threats, aggressive gestures, property destruction of the partner, throwing whatever comes to hand and threatening with a knife;
- Denial of guilt for the violence committed against his partner, while pretending to be friendly, well-mannered in the public eye, trying to obtain sympathy with crying and pleas.
Mental abuse in marriage is a fairly common social phenomenon even though it is hard to identify. Usually, the victims are ashamed to admit the fact of abuse, so they do not want to show up with their problems.
However, it is necessary to take into account the signals of mental terror, thus pay attention if your partner:
- Flare up at the slightest provocation;
- Constantly suspect you of cheating;
- Doesn’t want to change his opinion of what women should be and shouldn’t be;
- Suffer mood swings, which determines your daily life, and you are trying to guess what will be next;
- Forbids you to have any social contact without his (her) participation;
- Tells you how to dress and with whom you shouldn’t be friends, controls your every move;
- Keeps you living in fear and you stay ready for anything to not upset him (her);
- Threatens to commit a suicide if you leave him (her).
The victims of mental abuse in marriage
People, who regularly face mental abuse, have a low self-esteem. Typically, they blame themselves for the acts of violence, gradually accept the will of offender and adapt their behavior to his needs. They try to behave according to his expectations, saying what he wants to hear and forbid themselves to express their own opinions. Very often, the victims of violence avoid contacts with their friends and family, suffer from anxiety and depression, some of them may even try to commit a suicide.
If you notice that a family member or someone you know is experiencing a mental abuse in marriage, do not hesitate to offer your help. Call the emergency center or social services. Try to talk to her (him) about the partner’s behavior and give a realistic assessment of the situation. Help her (him) to understand that she (he) is not alone in this world.