Signs of an abusive man. Be prepared!
Among many signs of an abusive man, there is a never-ending lust for power and the desire to control everything. For such people, even the slightest disobedience can be a cause of a huge mental discomfort.
The abuser has to monitor every part of his victim’s life and feel his total control. Living with the abusive husband involves one obvious answer to the question “Who wears the pants?” And if somebody suddenly dares to encroach on his power, or try to knock him off from the pedestal, he’ll do anything to eliminate the cause and regain his mental peace. The abusive man will try to suppress other people, who are out of his influence and control their actions by all means.
The psychological abuser always defends his position. In a dispute he will take a strong stand, even if he knows that he is obviously wrong. The abusive husband never compromises. The agreement with someone else’s opinion would mean a loss of power.
The main task for the abuser is to control his wife. He will command his wife to stay at home and raise children, so that she does not have her own source of income. In the beginning of the relationship, this prohibition may be put in a milder form and may even look quite acceptable and seem to be originating in his care and love. Abuser will argue that “his woman should not work, and he will take care of the family.” He will also forbid her to communicate with friends and relatives that he dislikes.
Such abusive man manifests himself in all his glory especially during his wife’s pregnancy and after the childbirth. In this period the abuser dominates almost in everything. In addition, he can not only suppress his wife, but also insult her, and even use physical force.
In the context of psychology, the obsessive desire for power is classified as a neurosis. The abusive husband by all means tends to put down, humiliate and dominate the people who are close to him. The behavior of abuser is motivated by internal weakness he would never accept. With such power manifestations, he compensates for his own misery, so he constantly looks for the proof of his “power”.
So, one of the most obvious signs of an abusive man is a constant internal conflict of the desired and real. He represses his weakness and compensates it with domination over others. Such escape from the reality is never-ending, because the acceptance of his weakness would kill the abuser. The abusive man sees himself as a strong and confident person.
This also explains another of many signs of an abusive man – hypersensitivity of his pride. Please don’t even try to make fun of him, because he will not understand these things. It is essential for neurotics to feel their own superiority.
To win the favor of the abusive husband, just flatter his feelings of his own importance and express admiration for his personality. But the abusive husband will build the relationships only in conditions of the constant fear and submission.
Neurotics do not necessarily use the physical force, they manipulate people perfectly and they do feel weaknesses of others. It should be remembered, that the abuser is actually quite weak, vulnerable and immature man, who externally demonstrates his power.
So, if you live with abusive man, you need to know, that he cannot be re-educated. He will constantly seek for the power and domination. Therefore, the only reasonable solution in this case is a divorce.