Signs of an abusive relationship. How to avoid the trap.
Domestic violence is often associated with battering, but there is another form of negative impact on the partner – a psychological violence, which is even more dangerous than the physical forms of violence. Psychological violence does not only harm victim’s psyche, but have a measurable and very negative influence on her health and general well-being. In severe cases it can cause various illnesses and even death. What are the most common signs of an abusive relationship?
Most common signs of an abusive relationship and psychological pressure include:
- Lack of a dialogue. You can not trust a partner and share what is bothering you. He ignores your interests and avoids the communication.
- Low self-esteem. You are often humiliated and criticized.
- Public scorn and insults. You are the main target for jokes in the presence of the third parties.
- You are isolated from the outside world – meeting friends and relatives becomes very rare or completely absent, and visiting a fitness club or leisure centers turns into the pipe dream.
- Financial control. The abuser limits your access to money and requires a detailed purchase report. You can not buy what you want; this is often accompanied with a fear or guilt.
- The relationship resembles to the electrocardiogram with the “ups” in the form of the fleeting glimpses of tenderness and more frequent “falls” in case of insults and violence.
- Your partner often threatens with divorce or breaks of relationships, and keeps a distance for some time.
- Sexual coercion. Your intimacy depends on the behavior of the partner – you feel like you’ve being used.
- Emotional trap. You seem to be locked in relationships and can not get out of them. You are accused of infidelity, or you’re watching the scenes of his cruelty towards children or pets.
- Fear, irritability and aggression. You fear of the partner and often experience negative emotions that cannot be explained.
- Health problems. You visit the doctors more frequent, complaining on joint pain, migraines, heart rhythm disorder, gastrointestinal dysfunction, amenorrhea, insomnia and chronic fatigue.
These symptoms are signs of the abusive relationship, which reside in the destruction of the victim’s personality and abuser’s wish to establish complete control over all aspects of the cohabitation.
The background for the psychological violence is a solid foundation of fear and low self-esteem of the victim. The abuser begins to control your funds, social circle and lifestyle, as well as the plans for the future (often without your participation).
There are more signs of an abusive relationship:
- You have less free time, while all of your time is dedicated to the abusive husband.
- You are isolated from others – you may lose your job, quit education at the university or language courses.
- To eliminate your freedom of movement an abusive husband can offer to move to another city or country – in the new environment you’ll feel lonely, helpless and frightened, and become more dependent on him.
- Your desires are ignored and requests or ideas are criticized.
- Instead of love and tenderness, you will feel more negative emotions that cannot be controlled.
- You are manipulated and turn into an obedient victim, which is losing a confidence with every day and begins to doubt in her own attractiveness, gathering new complexes.
The problem of the domestic violence can be resolved, but you should not wait until the abuser completely destroys your physical and mental health. To do this, just do not be afraid to make a sure step on your way to a new life.