Stress and Weddings: The Making of Bridezilla
Every girl dreams of having the perfect wedding. From childhood we are bombarded these images of perfection in glamorous celebrity weddings whose unlimited budgets are reflected in the designer gowns, lavish jewelry, multitude of guests, and sumptuous buffet. For example, take Lady Diana Spencer’s wedding to the Prince of Wales in 1981. During the so-called wedding of the century, she wore a designer dress with a long train that cascaded down the aisle of Westminster Abbey with matching velvet shoes adorned with diamond buckles. It seemed to us like a fairy tale come true—a princess has finally found her prince.
And so from these images we begin building our own vision of the perfect wedding. Whether large or small, we visualize every detail of this fantastic event, from the exact shade of white for the gowns to the particular recipe we want to use for the dessert course. For some women, the need to make everything about the day perfect has turned many a lovely bride into a creature known as Bridezilla. Bridezillas make an already stressful time in their lives even more stressful. And when the bride is stressed, everyone around her becomes stressed as well. These creatures subsist on nothing but their wedding plans and expect those around them to do the same. The lives of Bridezilla’s friends and family depend on whether or not she gets what she wants, no matter how expensive or impractical it is. God help anyone who makes a mistake or tells her that she can’t have what she wants, because she will eat you alive.
So what fuels the rage of Bridezilla? Stress.
Planning a wedding, especially large ones, can be difficult. Many brides also have to contend with meddling family members, budget constraints and time pressure along with the usual demands of daily life such as a job and/or children. Some women can handle the pressure, but others cannot and it manifests in psychological or physical ways. Bridezillas can be susceptible to mood swings, hysteria and irrational behavior which begins to affect the other parts of her life. But it is possible to avoid becoming a Bridezilla and having a stress-free wedding by following these tips:
1. Stop obsessing over the little details. In their quest to plan the perfect wedding, many brides forget that its the ceremony itself that’s important, not the trimmings. There’s no need to get into debt to create the perfect wedding. Spend your money where it counts. Money is one of the most powerful stress triggers, but careful spending will go a long way in easing your worries. Remember that some things in life are free.
2. Compromise. There is great wisdom in the saying, “Two heads are better than one.” Remember that you can’t do it alone and that you don’t have the monopoly on good ideas. Be open for suggestions. Ask your groom if he has any special requests that can be incorporated to the ceremony.
3. Delegate. Some family members may feel that they have the right to meddle with your wedding plans, which often leads to many arguments and tears. This creates an atmosphere of tension that can be extremely tedious and stressful. Try setting a specific task to each person and let them know that you appreciate their help. Deal with these people firmly and with diplomacy and make sure that they understand that you and your groom have the final say in all matters pertaining to the wedding. If all else fails, consider hiring a wedding planner.
4. Get organized. It pays to do a little research before purchasing a service or item for the wedding. Try attending a wedding-themed trade fair or similar gatherings for more inspiration. Keep a notebook and calendar for matters pertaining to the wedding, detailing what has been done and what else needs to be done.
5. Take time off from the wedding frenzy. Go away for the weekend with your groom, or treat your self to a spa date with your friends. Do what helps you to relax and during that time, avoid discussing or even thinking of your wedding plans. Stepping back helps you regain a new perspective on the matter and lessens your level of stress.
6. Let it go. There are just some things we can’t control, like the weather. Focus on what you can control, and maintain a sense of humor. Laughing greatly increases your body’s release of endorphins, engendering a sense of wellbeing and decreasing stress levels.